I just saw a headline on cnn.com that says “Joe the Plumber may try Singing Career.” Another headline today lamented that Joe the Plumber didn’t show up to a McCain rally (though McCain called on him in the audience anyway). Yet another headline I’ve seen has Joe the Plumber contemplating a run for Congress in 2010.

In class today I told my professor that I’ve taken to calling everybody soandso the whatandwhat. I called her Sandra the Professor. I had Savannah the Student. Megan the Sigma Kappa. So I thought I’d have some fun and name some other people.

Am I now Skylar the Blogger?
Does that mean we also have Michael the Editor? Mary the Editor?
What about Bolesy the Regent? Monique the Publicist?
Gary the President? Barbara the Provost? Charita the Cook?
Is my dad Steve the Engineer? My mum Beverly the Assistant? My grandfather Steve the Retired Unionizer? My aunt Sheila the Single Mum?
Is my sister Tori the Slacker? My other sister Stephanie the Soldier?
What about my niece? Can she be Lily the Infant?

And let’s not forget Bob the Builder, Dora the Explorer, and Thomas the Tank Engine. (I stole that line from Stephen Cobert, but it was worth repeating.)

Defining someone by their profession is sort of degrading if you ask me. I don’t like it. It’s like defining someone by how much education they have, how much money they make, and so on. I don’t think Joe the Plumber should be ashamed of being a plumber, but I do think he should be annoyed that they’re pigeon-holing him as a plumber. What about Joe the Dad? Joe the Football Fan? Joe the Poker Player? Joe-the-guy-who-secretly-cried-while-watching-The-Notebook-and-only-his-wife-knows? Okay, so I don’t know if Joe cried at The Notebook (but my roommate did!), but I do know that there are many layers to a person and it isn’t just one’s career.

That being said, I want to make one thing perfectly clear: I do not want to vote for Joe for Congress or hear him on my radio. His fifteen minutes of fame expired twenty minutes ago, and I really don’t care. Because I feel like I’m your average American, and Joe the Plumber doesn’t represent me. He doesn’t represent my dad, who is about the same age and looks shockingly like Joe. He represents himself. He represents Joe. He doesn’t represent Skylar. Besides, the emergence of the cult of Joe has focused the media’s attention away from the issues and onto whether or not he is really called Joe (let him call himself what he wants… I did :b), whether he really makes over $250,000 or whether he has paid his taxes (let’s leave that to the IRS). Joe the Plumber is the new Paris the Heiress.

Has it helped or hurt John McCain? Barack Obama? I personally think Joe’s done more to help Obama than McCain, as people are smart enough to see McCain talking about Joe and not issues. But in the long run I don’t know. We’ll see.

What I do know is the rise of Joe the Plumber as a cult icon confirms what I’ve long thought of this presidential election: it is the world’s best reality television show. Running for almost two years now, Election 2008 has been like watching Survivor: Washington, DC. My favorite contestant (Hillary) was voted off a long time ago. Same with other such characters as Mike Huckabee, Rudy Guilianni, Dennis Kucinich and Mike Gravel. And like Big Brother (in the UK, anyway), you have housemates arrive late in the game (Sarah Palin) or return after being evicted (Joe Biden). And then you have spoilers that come out of nowhere and nobody really understands. And that’s Joe the Plumber.

Joe can sing, Joe can dance, Joe can run for Congress. But the fact is he is nothing but a spoiler, a tactic used in the most brilliant strategic reality television show I’ve ever seen.

Now if only we can get as many people to vote in this race as vote for American Idol.

x. Skylar

(Disclaimer: The views expressed in this blog belong to me, Skylar, and do not reflect the views or opinions of SGA, its executive board, or its adviser.)